Approach with Boldness

This morning one of our children in the church approached our lead pastor with a question. The little guy needed to be at children's musical practice and our lead pastor's wife happens to be the director of our children's choir. So he asked Andy where his wife was (actually due to some confusion he asked where his mom was...but Andy knew who he was looking for). Now this does not seem that unusual because our lead pastor happens to be very kid approachable. It is not a big deal for a child to walk up to Andy with a question of any sort.

How this particular exchange stands out has more to do with timing. Andy was wrapping up his sermon and happened to be behind the pulpit in the front of the Sanctuary at the time of the question. The little guy just came through the back door walked down the aisle straight up to Andy and inquired on the whereabouts of the children's music director.

There are so many things to say about this moment. Not the least of them being that Andy had just finished a sermon about our expectations and how this Advent we need to have our routine/tradition shaken. There also is the pure joy that in our congregation a child feels free enough to enter the Sanctuary and find out what he needs to know.

For me, this moment captures all of those points plus so much more. Yet, this afternoon what I happen to be processing is how completely un-bold I am in approaching my God. What about you? How many times are we limited by what those around us may think as we approach God? What about the thought some people have, "God has a lot of other things, more important things than what I have to ask"? Instead of just going to the one that we know will be able to help us, we waste a lot of time asking others.

When the child came up to Andy, all I could think was how cute he was and how great the exchange was. Why, because I like this kid. I like his family. He makes me smile. He was born and has grown up in this church. Now if I can love this exchange because of my thoughts about this kid, how much more does God desire us to approach the throne? God loves us intimately and unconditionally. There is nothing that would make God look at us and think “Get outta here”. Yet, how timid I am in my approach before God.

May I learn from a child (surprise, surprise) and approach my God with a boldness and uninhibited with my request.

fifteen minutes

I pulled into the parking lot at 6:18 and was back in my car and pulling out at 6:32. Fifteen minutes of my time for the day was spent in the surgery admission area of the hospital this morning. I will spend more time digging through the pile on my desk today. I will spend three times that amount filling out budget forms. What does this fifteen minutes mean?

I spent a few minutes of my day in a vulnerable part of this family's day. They are stepping into fear, loss of control, and so many other emotions. Yet, for this moment in time, we stand in a circle and these people allow me into their lives. I get to speak to God on their behalf at this tender time. Many prayers have and will be lifted by each family member over the reason we stand in this waiting room. And I have the privilege of joining the chorus of voices.

This is what it means to be a pastor. It is not easy, it is sometimes uncomfortable and it definitely is not fun. However, sometimes it is the most important thing I will do with my day. Fifteen minutes before the sun has even appeared on the horizon.

My emotions call me to wish this moment away. For this family to not have to take that yellow card and check in at the desk in the middle of the room. Part of me desires to be able to pray away all the anxiety and be able to tell them "it is going to be fine". Yet, the truth is, I don't know what lies ahead. I don't even know what lied behind. I know this moment. I know God is in this moment. I know whatever is to come, God is there. For a moment I get to speak this truth into a life.

This is what it means to be a pastor.

I have no answers. I don't even really know the questions. I can crack a joke and we will laugh through the tears that fill some of our eyes. They will politely ask me questions about my life and I will answer. What does this fifteen minutes mean?

It means I get to be a pastor.

I may not get all the words right and it may be awkward at times. The family has a long day ahead of them in this building as I get to start my car and drive away. However, God is there and for that moment I get to be a part of it.

At least for fifteen minutes.

still processing

It has almost been 3 weeks since my airplane landed in St. Louis and I returned from my 8 days in Haiti. I wish I could process the experience enough to make sense of everything I saw, smelled and heard. However, I am still sorting through the pictures in my camera and the memories in my mind.

My family never talked much about social justice or the government's role in welfare. My mom just one day said, "we do not need more stuff and there are families in Springfield that do not have. So, we are going to give to others". I don't know if I have ever heard my mother talk about how the system is broken, I just have watched her give to those without. So, in turn that is all I know. I don't do well in a discussion about what causes poverty, I just want to do something to change a life. I may not always get it right, but my heart still strives to figure it out.

Don't get me wrong. I believe those discussions about how to fix the system is necessary and I am thankful for those that engage in the conversation.

However, when it comes to Haiti the conversation is overwhelming and the discussions could be endless. Answers would be difficult to find, if not impossible.

The election for President of Haiti is just around the corner. Is there a political answer to the brokenness I saw? I don't know. But somehow I think that Betsy, who carries water from the well to the shower/bathroom area in rural Mellier probably isn't going to vote.

It is about water that is not fit to drink, homes that are still in rubble and the grief that this country knows all too well after the January earthquake. It is about children that carry parasites that their little bodies may not be able to always fight off. It is about a young man that just wants the chance to continue his education.

And for me, it is about what can I do? Not my analysis of the situation or my opinion on whether the US money made it there. It is about the faces of children I cannot get out of my head and what can I personally do to help them?

So, yea I am still processing.

Really?

I have been in some form of ministry for 20 years, so this issue is not a new one. However, usually I am able to claim John Wesley's catholic spirit and peace is continued. So, I am not sure what it was about today that triggered my passion. Maybe it was a reminder of the gifts of ministry I saw in a young woman just this afternoon. Or maybe it was simply that I had not eaten for 15 hours and I was just grumpy.

However, please and I do mean please do not tell a young woman that there is something she can not do simply because of her gender.

You know what I am talking about.

Believe what you desire for yourself and you do not need to embrace a doctrine you cannot agree with for yourself. You can quote me Scripture (I have read them and yes, studied them several times) that makes your point and I will quote you some other Scripture.

I am not here to debate you on the issue of women in ministry.

I feel no need to talk you into believing that I am called by God to be in ministry. I really never have felt a need to rationalize my calling. I do not say this because I am that confident or bold. I say this simply because, if I am called to ministry or not is really not between me and you. It is between me and God. God called me, gifted me and has guided me. If you feel that I received or interpreted this calling incorrectly, the fruit will not be there and the Holy Spirit will move me along to something different. If I could have avoided the calling, I would have. Come on, didn't I just mention I have been in ministry for 20 years. So, this is not about me.

You do not have to listen to a women preach or teach. You never have to believe for yourself that God could call a women to preach. I am not asking for you to change what you believe.

I am asking you to allow a young woman's calling to be between God and her. That is all.

Let her figure it out without tossing some "man" made doctrine into the mix.

Why?

The question on the application simply asks why do you want to experience international mission? I am not sure how to put into words the part of me that has been crying out for 20 years. “I want to go” seems like such an empty phrase.

We are called to reach out. Somehow I think this includes more than the woman at the Sonic drive-in that hands me my diet coke most afternoons. I stand before a congregation on Sunday morning and challenge them to show Christ’s love to a broken world. Do I really know of God’s world? Do I understand brokenness?

Yes, my heart hurts for those I talk and pray with that are walking through broken marriages and grieving the death of a love one. However has my heart ever really been broken, literally broken due to the compassion I am called to feel for another? A tear may fall, a lump may gather in my throat and at times I have been moved to lift a prayer or throw in a dollar. I can collect food for a shelter, wrap gifts for the local Christmas giveaway and even rebuild the ceiling of a home in intercity Memphis and I am in missions. Yet, somehow my heart has craved more.

The draw for missions comes from the desire to have my small and comfortable world bump up against God’s complete world. To have my heart pierced with what pierces God’s heart. Can that happen as I drive to my air-conditioned office in my paid off Honda Accord?

Why do I want to experience international missions? The circle that I have spent the majority of my life existing is not even a drop of whom I am called to love and serve. My heart knows there is more on the horizon or at least on the other side of an airplane ride.
I want to go.

Let's Get Fired Up!

We are in the middle of a sermon series titled "Let's Get Fired Up" highlighting the Holy Spirit. In preparation for the sermon this morning I have been humbled by the reality of the power of the Holy Spirit. The third person of the Trinity which includes all the power, abundance and strength our our creator, God.

Think about it, all that power is ours when we receive Christ.

And we are just hanging out on a Sunday morning, just chillin. Not really plugging into the capabilities of the gifts we have been given. If I really understood the power of the Holy Spirit I would be in complete awe a majority of my waking hours.

It was this idea that I was discussing with my mom this afternoon when she reminded me of a little known fact. (Leave it to a mother to point out the obvious).

I was a painfully shy child and still am very shy in so many ways.

Yea, there is the truth. Some that have known me a little longer than a couple decades are well aware of this fact. It is those people that know anytime I stand before more than one person it is the by the power of the Holy Spirit.

Myers-Briggs will show you my introvert score. My heart rate before I have to do anything having to do with public speaking will point out my fear. And yes, my mom will testify to the level of shyness I have been known for.

This afternoon my mom was reminding me of this truth and how God has empowered me to serve.

When we truly surrender to God's call in our lives, whatever that may be for this season in our life, God will enable.

The reasons we do not serve are lame and I have tried most of them. They do not hold up when we honestly consider what God has done for us. The Holy Spirit has gifted us to serve. My heart so desires for God's people to understand this truth and to know how Scripture confirms the reality over and over.

Yet, what my mom reminded me of this afternoon was that it really doesn't matter what Scripture I quote in an attempt to point out this fact. The truth is shown in the simple fact that I could quote Scripture from behind a pulpit in front of people in the first place.

Plugging into that power can be an adventure.

Let's get fired up!

Still Standing at the Gates

I am still thinking about those "who stand at the gates of righteousness". The sermon from last Sunday is still bouncing around in my head (and heart).

I am processing this idea of receiving those who stand at the gates. I really get that part. I don't always do it right, but I get it. We can always be working on how accepting we are within the church. We should always consider how welcoming we can be in a congregation.

It is about radical hospitality.

However, what about those who never come to the gate? Do you know what I mean? What is the church's role to those who feel lost or left out and approaching the gate is the last thing on their agenda? The people who never make it to the door of the church because of fear or doubt. They don't reach out or even make a peep (that is in honor of the sugary products this Easter season!). They stay hidden in their homes and work places, yet are craving a relationship with their creator. Maybe they have had an active relationship with the church at one time and they have been disappointed. So, now they stand a safe distance from those gates.

And maybe they question why no one has reached out.

Sometimes we are so busy with those that walk in the door or at least turn around in the parking lot, can we really be responsible for those that we are not even aware need us? And if we did schedule some time in our Blackberrys (okay, iPhones) to reach out to those who are quietly questioning faith, how do we know who they are? Okay then if we know who they are and we are aware of the need, how do we reach out? We don't want to step on toes and they have made no hint that they may need to hear of these "gates of righteousness" in which we speak. Really it is none of our business to go there.

Or is it our business?

If the church really buys this thing about an empty tomb more than just a time to fill some pews and pass out some colored eggs to some children, what does that mean? Because of the passionate love of God and the sacrificial gift of Christ, isn't it the business of the church to keep an eye open, an ear to the ground or at least a hand stretched out?

No matter how uncomfortable it gets to go where we are not sure we are invited, we are called to step outside the gates. It is mandatory that the people of the church figure out how to share the incredible news of a savior. It is a good thing that we put on our red (blue, purple, green, yellow) vest and greet people at the gate. It is a wonderful thing to make our churches a place of acceptance and hospitality. However, I think the "radical" part of hospitality means taking one more step and praying about who it is in our worlds that need directions to the gates or maybe even a hand to hold as they walk to the gates of righteousness.

There are people, broken people who fear the gates and they need a friend to say "it can be well with your soul".

Who is going to be that friend? I want to be that kind of radical.