Maritime Law and General Conference

On my recent cruise I learned the captain is not allowed under maritime law to dock the ship. I found that rather strange. As a matter of fact, I didn’t believe the information at first, possibly because I heard it originally from my brother. Yet, I did some research and found that it is true; a pilot is brought on the ship to advise the crew on conditions of the waterway. Because maneuvering the boat through the most difficult areas is the highest risk, someone with special skills and knowledge of the local waterway is needed. Pilots are expert ship handlers who possess this knowledge. They are responsible under the law and maritime custom for conducting the safe navigation of the vessel, even though legally the captain is still responsible for the ship.

I had this new knowledge in my head as I read the Facebook discussion about the end of the United Methodist General Conference. This annual meeting of the denomination ended as it often does in people’s hearts every four year; without much change made. I need to admit my frustration with reading statements of despair over the fact General Conference had not made the changes this person or that person desired.

I don’t believe disciples are made for the transformation of the world on the floor of this conference. My apologies if this opinion offends anyone. I appreciate the process and am committed to following my denominations expectations. However, inside of the nursing home room this morning, the daughter preparing to say goodbye to her mother doesn’t care what was decided in Tampa last month. As our youth gathered last night to talk about their upcoming mission trip to Memphis, I don’t think anyone brought up the debates from the Tampa Conference Center.

The waterways that I maneuver as a pastor are often tricky, yet I like to think that I am knowledgeable of the waters. Or at least I am aware of the some dangerous areas or where it is congested on this path of faith for this particular group of disciples. I have been given the authority by the United Methodist Church to guide this vessel within this specific place and it is these waters that lives are changed.

Don’t get me wrong, I have the UM Book of Discipline on my shelf right above my computer. I actually have Book of Disciplines back to 1880, but that is for another blog. I get that the “captain” is still legally responsible for the ship. I believe that this gathering of pastor and laity representatives is important and represents the structure of the United Methodist denomination. I know the discussions that took place on the floor of the conference and in the hallways were sometimes difficult but needed. Our denomination is facing change. Do not be mistaken that just because decisions for the change some wanted were not officially made by May 4^th, that the waters were left unchanged.

I’m just sayin’ - when it comes to guiding the ship in the midst of these crazy waters, it comes down to the pastor.

The metaphor is not complete (trust me, I am well aware of where it sinks).

Late Night Musing

My frame of mind may possible be because it is late, who knows. But here it goes. I am a United Methodist pastor(I know I have said that before). However, I have not spent the last two weeks watching, listening or reading about the happenings in Tampa, FL at General Conference 2012-the UM's version of Congress. I have heard about rulings on some amendments (and expressed my opinions on some). I even watched a little debate one morning for about a half an hour. This is the first General Conference I have experienced as an appointed UM clergy. I respect the process and respect my fellow clergy who watch every moment. Yet, this is for some of you and for my laity friends who are UM nerds. Our mission statement does not read "make disciples for the transformation of the world through General Conference". The Conference closes, the 2012 Book of Discipline will go on sale, I will buy it and then I will probably make a hospital visit or maybe officiate a wedding or funeral. My point is, maybe a vote did not go the way you desired. I am sorry for the brokeness you may feel. Yet, the world is transformed for God's sake by us living out our calling to serve God each and every day. My opinion on issues are often changed through people sharing their hearts with me. By living our lives together, having our hearts break for what breaks God's heart and reaching out we begin to understand each other. Do you want to transform the world (whatever that may mean), then seek God, remember you are forgiven through Christ, know you are empowered by the Holy Spirit and love another. The world is transformed for God's sake not just on the floor of General Conference but through disciples who want to make a difference in the world in the name of Christ. So, turn off your computer, step away and go serve someone. It just might change the world.

Too much in my head!

I have been rather quiet on the blog front lately. However I have not been so quiet in the hallway outside my office. It seems that the status of my blog says nothing about how much my heart and mind have been processing lately. Anyone in the vicinity of my office gets to hear my rants and raves about so many different things, I thought why not put some into a blog.

I am a United Methodist and I am proud of a denomination that speaks about grace. I still believe there is something about an empty tomb that should take us to our knees while at the same time inspiring us to reach out to another. I don't like labels and to be honest, I don't like people who use them. If you want to call yourself a liberal, evangelical or a gooberhead, knock yourself out. However, please don't bash some group you have labeled because they happen not to completely agree with you using the Bible or God.

Yes, I am a pastor of a denomination that currently is not growing. I am of the opinion at the moment that it is not because we stand or don't stand in a particular camp on an issue. I think it is because we forgot that we are a denomination that loves the idea of grace and believes that there is something about an empty tomb that should take us to our knees while inspiring us to make a difference in someone else's life. In case you are into labels, in the purest sense - that would be evangelical (the empty tomb part) and a liberal or progressive (the reaching out to another part) coming together. Currently, we are just tossing out Scripture as if it is a sword for defense.

The United Methodists are gathered for their General Conference in Tampa, Florida right now. There will be many discussions (and other displays of opinion) about issues. I am the recipient of some of those discussions through the years. If people had not decided that women should be ordained in the United Methodist Church, I would not have the opportunities that I have before me today. So, I do not believe we should be silent on issues. However, I do believe that when the issue or agenda becomes bigger than the reason for the issue or agenda, we have a problem, Houston (or Tampa).

We are wasting a lot of time arguing about who is right and who is wrong. We spend emotional energy and too much Facebook, twitter and other communication space saying why someone else is stupid for believing what they believe. Judging another person for being judgmental doesn't seem to make sense to me. Our hearts should break, not only for the cause we are fighting but for one who disagrees with us. When that happens we find ourselves loving like Christ and the fight becomes a discussion for the kingdom.

I believe in a God that knows each of us intimately, loves us passionately and sent Jesus to reconcile the broken relationship between creation and creator. I believe that because of that gift I am called and drawn to embrace and serve others, even those that don't look, think or act like me. On some days I do that well, other days I really stink at it. Yet each day I am loved by God and forgiven through Christ's sacrifice and empowered by the Holy Spirit.

We are not going to agree on what that means, but when we forget that is the reason for the discussion, we have forgotten what matters.

Approach with Boldness

This morning one of our children in the church approached our lead pastor with a question. The little guy needed to be at children's musical practice and our lead pastor's wife happens to be the director of our children's choir. So he asked Andy where his wife was (actually due to some confusion he asked where his mom was...but Andy knew who he was looking for). Now this does not seem that unusual because our lead pastor happens to be very kid approachable. It is not a big deal for a child to walk up to Andy with a question of any sort.

How this particular exchange stands out has more to do with timing. Andy was wrapping up his sermon and happened to be behind the pulpit in the front of the Sanctuary at the time of the question. The little guy just came through the back door walked down the aisle straight up to Andy and inquired on the whereabouts of the children's music director.

There are so many things to say about this moment. Not the least of them being that Andy had just finished a sermon about our expectations and how this Advent we need to have our routine/tradition shaken. There also is the pure joy that in our congregation a child feels free enough to enter the Sanctuary and find out what he needs to know.

For me, this moment captures all of those points plus so much more. Yet, this afternoon what I happen to be processing is how completely un-bold I am in approaching my God. What about you? How many times are we limited by what those around us may think as we approach God? What about the thought some people have, "God has a lot of other things, more important things than what I have to ask"? Instead of just going to the one that we know will be able to help us, we waste a lot of time asking others.

When the child came up to Andy, all I could think was how cute he was and how great the exchange was. Why, because I like this kid. I like his family. He makes me smile. He was born and has grown up in this church. Now if I can love this exchange because of my thoughts about this kid, how much more does God desire us to approach the throne? God loves us intimately and unconditionally. There is nothing that would make God look at us and think “Get outta here”. Yet, how timid I am in my approach before God.

May I learn from a child (surprise, surprise) and approach my God with a boldness and uninhibited with my request.

fifteen minutes

I pulled into the parking lot at 6:18 and was back in my car and pulling out at 6:32. Fifteen minutes of my time for the day was spent in the surgery admission area of the hospital this morning. I will spend more time digging through the pile on my desk today. I will spend three times that amount filling out budget forms. What does this fifteen minutes mean?

I spent a few minutes of my day in a vulnerable part of this family's day. They are stepping into fear, loss of control, and so many other emotions. Yet, for this moment in time, we stand in a circle and these people allow me into their lives. I get to speak to God on their behalf at this tender time. Many prayers have and will be lifted by each family member over the reason we stand in this waiting room. And I have the privilege of joining the chorus of voices.

This is what it means to be a pastor. It is not easy, it is sometimes uncomfortable and it definitely is not fun. However, sometimes it is the most important thing I will do with my day. Fifteen minutes before the sun has even appeared on the horizon.

My emotions call me to wish this moment away. For this family to not have to take that yellow card and check in at the desk in the middle of the room. Part of me desires to be able to pray away all the anxiety and be able to tell them "it is going to be fine". Yet, the truth is, I don't know what lies ahead. I don't even know what lied behind. I know this moment. I know God is in this moment. I know whatever is to come, God is there. For a moment I get to speak this truth into a life.

This is what it means to be a pastor.

I have no answers. I don't even really know the questions. I can crack a joke and we will laugh through the tears that fill some of our eyes. They will politely ask me questions about my life and I will answer. What does this fifteen minutes mean?

It means I get to be a pastor.

I may not get all the words right and it may be awkward at times. The family has a long day ahead of them in this building as I get to start my car and drive away. However, God is there and for that moment I get to be a part of it.

At least for fifteen minutes.

still processing

It has almost been 3 weeks since my airplane landed in St. Louis and I returned from my 8 days in Haiti. I wish I could process the experience enough to make sense of everything I saw, smelled and heard. However, I am still sorting through the pictures in my camera and the memories in my mind.

My family never talked much about social justice or the government's role in welfare. My mom just one day said, "we do not need more stuff and there are families in Springfield that do not have. So, we are going to give to others". I don't know if I have ever heard my mother talk about how the system is broken, I just have watched her give to those without. So, in turn that is all I know. I don't do well in a discussion about what causes poverty, I just want to do something to change a life. I may not always get it right, but my heart still strives to figure it out.

Don't get me wrong. I believe those discussions about how to fix the system is necessary and I am thankful for those that engage in the conversation.

However, when it comes to Haiti the conversation is overwhelming and the discussions could be endless. Answers would be difficult to find, if not impossible.

The election for President of Haiti is just around the corner. Is there a political answer to the brokenness I saw? I don't know. But somehow I think that Betsy, who carries water from the well to the shower/bathroom area in rural Mellier probably isn't going to vote.

It is about water that is not fit to drink, homes that are still in rubble and the grief that this country knows all too well after the January earthquake. It is about children that carry parasites that their little bodies may not be able to always fight off. It is about a young man that just wants the chance to continue his education.

And for me, it is about what can I do? Not my analysis of the situation or my opinion on whether the US money made it there. It is about the faces of children I cannot get out of my head and what can I personally do to help them?

So, yea I am still processing.

Really?

I have been in some form of ministry for 20 years, so this issue is not a new one. However, usually I am able to claim John Wesley's catholic spirit and peace is continued. So, I am not sure what it was about today that triggered my passion. Maybe it was a reminder of the gifts of ministry I saw in a young woman just this afternoon. Or maybe it was simply that I had not eaten for 15 hours and I was just grumpy.

However, please and I do mean please do not tell a young woman that there is something she can not do simply because of her gender.

You know what I am talking about.

Believe what you desire for yourself and you do not need to embrace a doctrine you cannot agree with for yourself. You can quote me Scripture (I have read them and yes, studied them several times) that makes your point and I will quote you some other Scripture.

I am not here to debate you on the issue of women in ministry.

I feel no need to talk you into believing that I am called by God to be in ministry. I really never have felt a need to rationalize my calling. I do not say this because I am that confident or bold. I say this simply because, if I am called to ministry or not is really not between me and you. It is between me and God. God called me, gifted me and has guided me. If you feel that I received or interpreted this calling incorrectly, the fruit will not be there and the Holy Spirit will move me along to something different. If I could have avoided the calling, I would have. Come on, didn't I just mention I have been in ministry for 20 years. So, this is not about me.

You do not have to listen to a women preach or teach. You never have to believe for yourself that God could call a women to preach. I am not asking for you to change what you believe.

I am asking you to allow a young woman's calling to be between God and her. That is all.

Let her figure it out without tossing some "man" made doctrine into the mix.