I can hear the pump truck emptying out my septic tank this morning as I get ready. Yes, my house is on a septic tank and too often I have to have it emptied. I am in hope I do not have to go into detail of what is being pumped up and taken away. But please stay with me - I have a point. 

Before I became completely aware of what was taking place in my back yard - I was in prayer. Prayer for family and friends in my life - I do that as I dry my hair in the morning (you should try it, it is a great time to spend with God and also explains why my hair either looks really good or doesn't look too great).

Back to my point...when I realized the sound and what was taking place - it hit me. I was praying that the lives I was lifting to God would be cleared of the situations or circumstances that were hurting or causing them pain. That God would move in their lives toward healing or discernment. 

The sound of the pump truck made me wish I could just have a truck pull into my heart or life and start cleaning out the "eck" that can fill it some times. The people I care about could just call "Pump It" and have their lives cleared of the pain and hurt that can fill their days.

That became my prayer.

So in case you don't think you can pray because you don't know what to pray for...

what's it say?

I have two pending thoughts on my mind right now (okay, possibly more - but two that are pushing against my thought process).

First, I am getting close to having 100 facebook friends. Why has that become a goal? Seriously, facebook friends are not people I am going to be able to call to borrow money - so why is it important to get to 100? Is it about popularity - I don't think so. Seriously, does it define me? NO.  It probably is as simple as the round number will just make me feel better. Nothing more. 

Second, have you noticed that people are more likely to speak their political views than their religious views. Being in ministry,  I will admit I am more likely to keep my mouth shut about who I am going to vote for and my mouth open about who I serve (that would be God). I know people will respond to that comment with a simple - but, don't you want your candidate to win and you want people to know why. Don't I want people to know about my savior? I am not against speaking your political views. My question is - do you speak your religious views as boldly? Are you more likely to feel that is a personal choice to follow Christ or Buddha? So, you shouldn't say anything. How can you feel that way about religion (I am not a fan of that word) and not feel that way about politics? Jesus came to save the world...isn't that important. Or is that just one opinion among many opinions about religion in the world? Wait, isn't that politics also. Again, I am not against speaking your political views - my question is: are you as bold when it comes to your faith? Or is the question - are you as sure about your faith as you are about you politics? That is another blog discussion.

I may get a "I love Jesus" sign to put in my yard. Can you image a debate between Jesus and Buddha?

bad directory pictures

It became time for a new church directory, which means a new picture. Since I still use a directory picture taken over 8 years ago on my staff ID, you can imagine my excitement about getting my picture taken again. Not.

I really should have known how this would go when I had to reschedule my appointment three times. Can't do it on Thursday - concert, move it to Wednesday, no - walking club. Friday 9:10 p.m. after the wedding rehearsal - yea, that will work.

I left the cheesecake at the rehearsal dinner and made my way over to the church to sit in front of the lights. The photographer snapped, I waited for the salesperson to show me the results and then I said, "I would like a retake". 

I forgot how tired I would be after working since 9 a.m. (or at least that is what I am blaming the poor pictures on). My eyeballs literally went in different directions in the picture - that cannot be good. 

Here is my point, you know I have one. That one moment behind a camera captured on digital does not capture me. Anymore than one moment or season in our lives defines who we are or what are life is about. There will be moments when I look good and moments when I look bad. There will be moments full of laughter and moments full of tears. It is part of this journey. 

brain overload

Sometimes my brain just shuts down. Have you ever had that happen?

Between figuring out my assignments due for Discipleship of the Family and writing my Philosophy of Religion paper on the account of freedom mentioned in the Westminster Confession - the brain is fried. Oh wait, I forgot to mention that I also have a full time job. Hmmmm, would that explain the lack of sleep?

Anyway, my brain is on overload, so I pause to drop some thoughts in the "ole blog spot".

The thought has to do with my cat. 

I jump from one responsibility to another in complete chaos, while she sleeps. 

Yes, she will jump up from her spot on the chair to graze at her food bowl or to take a few sips of water. She will walk over by me and stroll across the area between me and my computer - to remind me that she is still around. Or maybe she will lift her head to lick her toe (paw, foot...whatever it is) from her resting posture. However, most of the time she sleeps. 

I want to relax like that. And here is my thought on this desire. I don't think my cat's ability to relax has to do with the lack of things on her "to do" list (she doesn't have one in case you wondered). I think it has to do with the fact that this is just what she does - she sleeps and lays around. I want to call it an attitude to make a particular point in this blog. 

Do I have to overload my brain? What if I took a break and called a friend? Would the sky fall? Maybe the condition of my brain has more to do with my attitude. What if I just took some time to relax? Maybe my brain would not get lost in theological determinism. Okay, it probably would anyway - but at least I might get a nap in!

What's that about?

The Israelites wandered around in the wilderness for 40 years. They whined and complained most of the time. 

I am very aware of this because I am reading the book of Exodus right now and I just turned 40. Experiencing those two things at the same time is probably not healthy for the psyche. 

I want to whine and complain about a list of things in my life, yet I see where it got the Israelites and I shut my mouth quickly. 

God did not provide for the Israelites because they complained. God provides because God is faithful. 

I am wandering and I have been wandering for 40 years now. And yes, God has been faithful and has been faithful for 40 years through times of drought and times of manna. My complaints have not related to the drought or manna times - but my lessons have!

What's that about?

football

I am taking part in a fantasy football league. Yes, the Groundhogs are my team. The unusual part of this statement is - I know nothing about football. I will watch a high school game if a student I know is playing. I may put on some Chief apparel because I lived in Kansas City for a couple of years and my brother is a fan. You would have never found me sitting in my recliner watching a Sunday game - however, that is all about to change.

I found myself this morning during hospital visits wanting to yell "go team" to a woman wearing a Patriots sweatshirt (Tom Brady is the quarterback for my fantasy football team). I can now tell you which player is probably going to play this weekend in spite of his hurt foot. A teammate stepped on it with cleats while he was wearing socks during a run. Couldn't tell you if it is my running back or my wide receiver. (It is the first week).

I feel pretty good about my team. It was an automatic draft and I just let the cards fall where they would. And it worked out well for me, I think.  (Remember I don't know much about football.) 

This is an interesting thought process since I am in the middle of philosophy of religion and reading about God's interaction with humanity. Does God interact? How much free will do we have? Is it all about a flip of the card and a spin of the wheel? I don't have all the answers to those questions (it is only the first week of class). 

I believe God does guide us. As the pillar of cloud and fire guided the Israelites in the book of Exodus - I believe God guides me. Sometimes I am not always following, but that is a whole different issue. 

So, I will leave my Groundhog team up to fate, but my life is in God's hands.

ipod

I washed my ipod this morning.

At this moment, the only person celebrating is Steve Jobs - he knows I will have to buy another one. It sucked. I can't believe I did it. Not because of some material issue. It was stupid of me (I should have known better) and I hate that. 

I have spent the day wanting to rewind and not toss it into the washer with my sheets (its a long story). This desire to rewind got me thinking about how many times I wish I could rewind moments. Some of them good and experience them all over. Other times I would want to play it differently this time. The slip of the tongue, the wrong word at the wrong moment and even the cruel words when I should have shared kind words.

However, I can't rewind any of the moments. So the lesson learned is - try to get the moment right the first time!