brain overload

Sometimes my brain just shuts down. Have you ever had that happen?

Between figuring out my assignments due for Discipleship of the Family and writing my Philosophy of Religion paper on the account of freedom mentioned in the Westminster Confession - the brain is fried. Oh wait, I forgot to mention that I also have a full time job. Hmmmm, would that explain the lack of sleep?

Anyway, my brain is on overload, so I pause to drop some thoughts in the "ole blog spot".

The thought has to do with my cat. 

I jump from one responsibility to another in complete chaos, while she sleeps. 

Yes, she will jump up from her spot on the chair to graze at her food bowl or to take a few sips of water. She will walk over by me and stroll across the area between me and my computer - to remind me that she is still around. Or maybe she will lift her head to lick her toe (paw, foot...whatever it is) from her resting posture. However, most of the time she sleeps. 

I want to relax like that. And here is my thought on this desire. I don't think my cat's ability to relax has to do with the lack of things on her "to do" list (she doesn't have one in case you wondered). I think it has to do with the fact that this is just what she does - she sleeps and lays around. I want to call it an attitude to make a particular point in this blog. 

Do I have to overload my brain? What if I took a break and called a friend? Would the sky fall? Maybe the condition of my brain has more to do with my attitude. What if I just took some time to relax? Maybe my brain would not get lost in theological determinism. Okay, it probably would anyway - but at least I might get a nap in!

What's that about?

The Israelites wandered around in the wilderness for 40 years. They whined and complained most of the time. 

I am very aware of this because I am reading the book of Exodus right now and I just turned 40. Experiencing those two things at the same time is probably not healthy for the psyche. 

I want to whine and complain about a list of things in my life, yet I see where it got the Israelites and I shut my mouth quickly. 

God did not provide for the Israelites because they complained. God provides because God is faithful. 

I am wandering and I have been wandering for 40 years now. And yes, God has been faithful and has been faithful for 40 years through times of drought and times of manna. My complaints have not related to the drought or manna times - but my lessons have!

What's that about?

football

I am taking part in a fantasy football league. Yes, the Groundhogs are my team. The unusual part of this statement is - I know nothing about football. I will watch a high school game if a student I know is playing. I may put on some Chief apparel because I lived in Kansas City for a couple of years and my brother is a fan. You would have never found me sitting in my recliner watching a Sunday game - however, that is all about to change.

I found myself this morning during hospital visits wanting to yell "go team" to a woman wearing a Patriots sweatshirt (Tom Brady is the quarterback for my fantasy football team). I can now tell you which player is probably going to play this weekend in spite of his hurt foot. A teammate stepped on it with cleats while he was wearing socks during a run. Couldn't tell you if it is my running back or my wide receiver. (It is the first week).

I feel pretty good about my team. It was an automatic draft and I just let the cards fall where they would. And it worked out well for me, I think.  (Remember I don't know much about football.) 

This is an interesting thought process since I am in the middle of philosophy of religion and reading about God's interaction with humanity. Does God interact? How much free will do we have? Is it all about a flip of the card and a spin of the wheel? I don't have all the answers to those questions (it is only the first week of class). 

I believe God does guide us. As the pillar of cloud and fire guided the Israelites in the book of Exodus - I believe God guides me. Sometimes I am not always following, but that is a whole different issue. 

So, I will leave my Groundhog team up to fate, but my life is in God's hands.

ipod

I washed my ipod this morning.

At this moment, the only person celebrating is Steve Jobs - he knows I will have to buy another one. It sucked. I can't believe I did it. Not because of some material issue. It was stupid of me (I should have known better) and I hate that. 

I have spent the day wanting to rewind and not toss it into the washer with my sheets (its a long story). This desire to rewind got me thinking about how many times I wish I could rewind moments. Some of them good and experience them all over. Other times I would want to play it differently this time. The slip of the tongue, the wrong word at the wrong moment and even the cruel words when I should have shared kind words.

However, I can't rewind any of the moments. So the lesson learned is - try to get the moment right the first time!

one inch deep

I heard a bible study teacher awhile back talk about how we have 100 relationships, however they are only an inch deep. Sometimes, that is more obvious than other times in my life.

I was talking yesterday with our pastor about facebook. I have 41 friends, which is little compared to the 500+ that many have. Yet, most facebook friends are not people you would call if you found yourself in jail and needing someone to bail you out at 2:00 in the morning. So what does that mean?

We have 100 relationships that are only an inch deep.

When I purchase a new cell phone, my first concern is getting my phonebook transfered. I don't want to lose the 75 phone numbers I have programed. Yet, if you were to check my call history - there is only 4 phone numbers I call/text on a regular basis. 

I have 100 relationships that are only an inch deep.

I will admit, I text because I don't want to bother the person on the other end or I don't want to be bothered on this end with a long conversation. I have unlimited texting.

I have 100 relationships that are only an inch deep.

This phenomenon is not a problem as long as somewhere in our phonebook we have one or two relationships that run 100 miles deep. Those that we can call when we find ourselves in need of a rescue (and even more important - can call us). How is your depth? It takes time, something most of us are limited on. 

The other problem with this trend is that we tend to consider our relationship with God in the category of shallow relationships. So, we never develop an understanding of the passionate love Christ expressed for us and the peace available through taking time to develop the relationship. 

Just some shallow thoughts on a Friday afternoon.

blogging

I thought when I finally set up a blog - I would have such profound thoughts to share. Now I cannot think of one single thing to say. I hate when that happens. 

I am in the middle of Church History 2 and we heard a lecture today on Karl Barth. I thought the guy was an idiot before I read his stuff. Why did I think he was an idiot? Because people that quote him come off as idiots (I will let you figure out who that might be). 

So, to throw myself into that bunch... "It is by Him, Jesus Christ, and for Him and to Him, that the universe is created as a theater for God's dealing with man and man's dealings with God". Karl Barth "The Doctrine of Election"  Isn't that use of the word theater kinda cool?

"What God does not find in us He finds abundantly in Him - with sufficient wealth to make up for all that lacks in us". Karl Barth "Theological Anthropology"

"Him" - that's Jesus! 

I will not stay long in this 19th century theologian place - trust me.